Found it difficult to stop imagining Willy's face when I tried to get to sleep last night. The fact that his ashes are in the closet and not attended to - makes me unsettled.
Mark arrived from the Island at 3:30 p.m. I had alerted him to the fact that it would be better for me if we disposed of the ashes today instead of tomorrow.
He took the bag out of the cardboard box and put it in a shopping bag so it would be less obvious what we were to do.
I could not bring myself to handle the planned event but stood a short way off and focussed on what was happening and felt relief.
We sat on a bench in the sunlight, listening to the birds sing and wept a little but I felt a release and was grateful for it.
We came home and there was the Mission Record with the article so beautifully laid out.
I felt grateful for it being there and seeing it made me smile knowing that we knew those years together and I truly "let him go" with that feeling.
I had to pick up my photos from London Drugs (taken two hours before Willy died) and passed the camera department. I'm sure it was telling me to buy the camera I've had my eye on but didn't buy because it was too expensive. It was reduced by one hundred dollars!!!
I did what it told me to do and brought it home.
signed - missing him but not sad - Doris
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