Life

Went to see Willy after the funny time we had with Laura and her husband Linden making a video.
It was to include many residents and there were many re-takes and gestures to go with music.


He was finding it harder to breathe but not struggling. Once again everything was clean, pillows plumped and his arm was around the teddy bear under the covers. How kind were the staff to do that little thing.
Eyes were completely closed, face not in agony.
I undid the covers to stroke his hand, remembering how I loved the strength and solidness of his hands, especially when I put them next to mine which are pale and looked so small next to the symbol of always doing hard work.
I've looked at his face for so long laying there in his bed that when I turn my head I see a ghost impression of it.
I took a photograph of Willy, remembering an artist - I think Manet not Monet who sat to draw his mother's dying face. Something we artists feel we should do.
He seemed to have regained the sweetness in his look that was there when I first knew him
I allowed myself to think maybe he should not have decided to stop living but of course that's being silly. It's better for him to be at peace and not feel a prisoner in that monster of a wheelchair when he can't move the thing and has to rely on the staff. When he first saw it he said he would never use it and that's what pretty well happened. I left around five o'clock.


At half past eight, May came in to talk and during this, the phone rang and it was Pleasantview nurse to tell me that Willy has died.


I had to get a Tums.


Phoned the funeral home and they are to contact Pleasantview and will phone me tomorrow morning.
Willy was ninety-three, had lived his life the way he wanted and he had a companion who loved him. So we should not mourn for him - we should just miss him and be glad we were part of his life.




I was with him until nearly five o'clock so I feel he knew I had been with him.
Pleasantview just phoned to ask what do I want to do about his wedding ring. I had noticed his finger was puffy so I didn't want them to force it off. They said the funeral home will give it to me.


Now I am a widow and it is another phase of my life but oh! I will miss him.
signed not believing it yet - Doris