I've just come back from being with Willy.
The nurse met me in the corridor. Told me this is his third day staying in bed. They can't understand what he says - today thought he said "cold" so they wrapped him up warm.
He sips a little "heavy water" which is thick water with nutrients and sips "Boost" the liquid drink for those who aren't eating. Anytime I wish to call the nursing station I think she said extension 390. She's sorry for me.
His complexion was good. Sheets and covers nice and clean. Pillows plumped behind his head so he looked comfortable. I felt his forehead - no fever. Eyes wandered mostly looked up to the ceiling - I thought it was a ceiling light but no.
He heard my voice but couldn't see.
I told myself, if he was dying he'd be struggling to breathe but his breath was shallow, not difficult for him.
So I sat on the side of the bed and stroked his arm which was under the covers and his eyelids fluttered closed with peace. My arm and hand went numb so I just stayed my hand on his shoulder.
It was then that I wished I could lay down next to him and hold him as he used to hold me. In all the time of him being in extended care, we could never hold each other properly because of the way it is with him in the wheelchair.
And I started to cry and I couldn't stop and felt so alone without him to comfort me.
I told him I had truly loved him and we'd had such very good times amongst the arguments and he had made me laugh so often. I hoped he could hear me.
It was then that I heard him say what sounded like "Home" and remembered when they first took him there he kept saying "Take me with you home!" And my tears kept running down my cheek.
I stayed for an hour, collecting some of he last items in his room to take to the thrift shop. As I was leaving, the care-aid who looks after Willy, stopped and said she was sorry. I asked her what she thought of the situation and she answered of course "Every case is different."
Then I thought of the other man who has Parkinson's and whose wife was called for the last minutes of his life, yet who now sits up in his wheelchair as alive as can be !!!!
I'm glad I cried though - It released my sorrow and I think of him - making up funny stories in his head and seeing how peculiar the human race can be.
He smiled the weakest of smiles, but it was there and he has comfort, care and a sort of peace so I'm happy about that. signed resigned but sad Doris.
Monday, March 31, 2014
Who would have thought?
Okay - I thought I'd blogged yesterday but someone said it wasn't there to read. I had had a full day.
I went to the Volunteer's appreciation lunch at the arts centre. We are lucky to have Marilyn Davidson who decorates rooms to make you believe you're in the place where she wants to put you. So yesterday we were in an Italian restaurant. There were grapes hanging from the rafters, Italian flags and even the chairs were decorated in red and green. We had to go through red curtains and the tables had wine bottles with candles in them. There were bread-sticks in Italian tall glasses and menus a la Italy.
We had everything high class and three choices of pasta and teramasu for dessert.
What I liked best, was good conversation at the table and you could feel the camaraderie in the room. The board of the arts council put it on and the mood was the best I've been to.
Mady and I talked about the Public art contest for Mission and she came up with a great idea. She's going to present it to the Mission council and we'll fund-raise to bring it to fruition. Wish us luck !!!!
Carrington had an open house. Now that Chartwell own both this place and Cedarbrook building, they share advertising etc. So there were masses of people touring both.
I rescued one lady here who was completely confused about where she was and how could she ever find her car???
My friend came for dinner. I'd booked the private dining room but when we got there the table was set for six and I thought another party was to come. But it was just because it looked nice for the Open House people. We had roast turkey dinner.
Brenda had bought me a small toaster oven and when I went to put it on, I couldn't find the wires to plug it in. I looked everywhere, So my friend checked the trunk of my car - it's black and poor lighting so I might not have seen it. She studied the oven and there was no connection for the wires. She turned it upside down and there, neat as a nurses made bed, were the wires all wound up and out of the way.
As I said - "Who would have thought they'd be there?"
It was Sunday so I had to watch the continuation of Masterpiece's "Mr.Selfridge" I'd watched the session last year and they left us hanging until now.
It's an excellent production and after this session they showed a shortened version of his real life. All that money and he landed up with nothing and was ousted from his own store/shop.
Drink - gambling - and women, women, women.
I picked up the biography of Queen Victoria. I wanted to know more about that Scotsman who she befriended after her husband died but this is up to when he died. Nevertheless, the first few pages are extraordinary as to royalties and their stupid lives and doings and if anyone reads just these pages, they'd scrap the ruddy organization immediately!!
It's written and researched so well.
signed oven-happy - Doris
I went to the Volunteer's appreciation lunch at the arts centre. We are lucky to have Marilyn Davidson who decorates rooms to make you believe you're in the place where she wants to put you. So yesterday we were in an Italian restaurant. There were grapes hanging from the rafters, Italian flags and even the chairs were decorated in red and green. We had to go through red curtains and the tables had wine bottles with candles in them. There were bread-sticks in Italian tall glasses and menus a la Italy.
We had everything high class and three choices of pasta and teramasu for dessert.
What I liked best, was good conversation at the table and you could feel the camaraderie in the room. The board of the arts council put it on and the mood was the best I've been to.
Mady and I talked about the Public art contest for Mission and she came up with a great idea. She's going to present it to the Mission council and we'll fund-raise to bring it to fruition. Wish us luck !!!!
Carrington had an open house. Now that Chartwell own both this place and Cedarbrook building, they share advertising etc. So there were masses of people touring both.
I rescued one lady here who was completely confused about where she was and how could she ever find her car???
My friend came for dinner. I'd booked the private dining room but when we got there the table was set for six and I thought another party was to come. But it was just because it looked nice for the Open House people. We had roast turkey dinner.
Brenda had bought me a small toaster oven and when I went to put it on, I couldn't find the wires to plug it in. I looked everywhere, So my friend checked the trunk of my car - it's black and poor lighting so I might not have seen it. She studied the oven and there was no connection for the wires. She turned it upside down and there, neat as a nurses made bed, were the wires all wound up and out of the way.
As I said - "Who would have thought they'd be there?"
It was Sunday so I had to watch the continuation of Masterpiece's "Mr.Selfridge" I'd watched the session last year and they left us hanging until now.
It's an excellent production and after this session they showed a shortened version of his real life. All that money and he landed up with nothing and was ousted from his own store/shop.
Drink - gambling - and women, women, women.
I picked up the biography of Queen Victoria. I wanted to know more about that Scotsman who she befriended after her husband died but this is up to when he died. Nevertheless, the first few pages are extraordinary as to royalties and their stupid lives and doings and if anyone reads just these pages, they'd scrap the ruddy organization immediately!!
It's written and researched so well.
signed oven-happy - Doris
Saturday, March 29, 2014
Blankness
Visited Willy today and for the first time he didn't recognise me!
It's very hurtful. But his eyes were completely blank and nothing registered in them.
He even didn't know my voice for a long while.
Pleasantview looked as if it had been taken over by Jamaica. I wonder if it's the start of the new union moving in. They were not efficient in the English language.
I called on the nurse to find out how he was doing but she said she had nothing to do with him - the other nurse looked after him.
I didn't know they had two nurses.
Eventually this lady came and said yes, Willy's chest is congested so they put him to bed but will try to get him up to have his dinner.
I collected bags of his clothes yet again and not only were they heavy to carry to the car but my heart was heavy too.
Maybe we shouldn't keep him living like this - I know he wouldn't have wanted it if he'd been in his right mind. He'd spoken before that he never wanted it to be me to look after him if he got sick. He said he's be like an animal and just get lost somewhere.
We had perogies for lunch so I asked for double portion and had the extra for dinner.
My blood sugar and blood pressure is good but now I have indigestion so I'll go and get a Tums.
signed joining the crowd eating Tums - Doris
It's very hurtful. But his eyes were completely blank and nothing registered in them.
He even didn't know my voice for a long while.
Pleasantview looked as if it had been taken over by Jamaica. I wonder if it's the start of the new union moving in. They were not efficient in the English language.
I called on the nurse to find out how he was doing but she said she had nothing to do with him - the other nurse looked after him.
I didn't know they had two nurses.
Eventually this lady came and said yes, Willy's chest is congested so they put him to bed but will try to get him up to have his dinner.
I collected bags of his clothes yet again and not only were they heavy to carry to the car but my heart was heavy too.
Maybe we shouldn't keep him living like this - I know he wouldn't have wanted it if he'd been in his right mind. He'd spoken before that he never wanted it to be me to look after him if he got sick. He said he's be like an animal and just get lost somewhere.
We had perogies for lunch so I asked for double portion and had the extra for dinner.
My blood sugar and blood pressure is good but now I have indigestion so I'll go and get a Tums.
signed joining the crowd eating Tums - Doris
Friday, March 28, 2014
snipping threads
Brenda came to check everything that was to be sent to the income tax man was correct. And it was. So today I went to the bank and handed them the return envelopes and the form by inner office mail to say they can get paid. Whew! That's over with.
I had brought all the bags with Willy's clothes in them up to this apartment, thinking I'd go through them and sort through good or not good but I got weary just looking at so many so I loaded them into my small cart, took them to Sally Ann and thankfully, she smiled and said "Thank you so much!"
It helped to have a conversation about discarding at the BPWC the other day. Stories of people hoarding little by little and all of a sudden you're out of control.
So of course I looked around the store and found a warmer jacket in pigeon grey colour. Arm lengths for a gorilla but I can cut them down. While doing that tonight I found oodles of uncut threads and remembered the documentary about how the Chinese girls work and live in Jean factories and the jobs are divided up - cutting - sewing - ironing - putting on name labels - and last is the girl who has to snip all the loose threads. In the documentary the girl sat looking at a pile like Everest. I`m sure she felt more than weary herself.
My former husband and I had a high-end Ladies wear store. It was surprising that even the expensive dresses would have these unsightly threads. Ted would have an eagle eye for them and snip, snip away. But I noticed it made a difference all right. It`s off-putting when you are trying on a quality dress and see thread hanging down.
He was no `fixer of broken things in the home` and when I asked if he could try to fix my sewing machine, he took it all apart and cleaned each section - and no he didn`t lose any bits - he put it back together and said `I couldn`t make it go but it`s the cleanest sewing machine that doesn`t work!`
Lots of all kinds of people looking around in the store. I got a narrow frame because I sold the small painting that looked so right on a narrow wall. So my art senses stir and I`ll put it together when I feel ready.
There were extremely funny articles. I wonder if they allow people to take photographs - it`s hilarious. There was a steel framed chair covered in what looked like a Yak`s hide shaggy hair spilling all over and COLOURED BABY BLUE.
signed - all my threads cut - Doris
I had brought all the bags with Willy's clothes in them up to this apartment, thinking I'd go through them and sort through good or not good but I got weary just looking at so many so I loaded them into my small cart, took them to Sally Ann and thankfully, she smiled and said "Thank you so much!"
It helped to have a conversation about discarding at the BPWC the other day. Stories of people hoarding little by little and all of a sudden you're out of control.
So of course I looked around the store and found a warmer jacket in pigeon grey colour. Arm lengths for a gorilla but I can cut them down. While doing that tonight I found oodles of uncut threads and remembered the documentary about how the Chinese girls work and live in Jean factories and the jobs are divided up - cutting - sewing - ironing - putting on name labels - and last is the girl who has to snip all the loose threads. In the documentary the girl sat looking at a pile like Everest. I`m sure she felt more than weary herself.
My former husband and I had a high-end Ladies wear store. It was surprising that even the expensive dresses would have these unsightly threads. Ted would have an eagle eye for them and snip, snip away. But I noticed it made a difference all right. It`s off-putting when you are trying on a quality dress and see thread hanging down.
He was no `fixer of broken things in the home` and when I asked if he could try to fix my sewing machine, he took it all apart and cleaned each section - and no he didn`t lose any bits - he put it back together and said `I couldn`t make it go but it`s the cleanest sewing machine that doesn`t work!`
Lots of all kinds of people looking around in the store. I got a narrow frame because I sold the small painting that looked so right on a narrow wall. So my art senses stir and I`ll put it together when I feel ready.
There were extremely funny articles. I wonder if they allow people to take photographs - it`s hilarious. There was a steel framed chair covered in what looked like a Yak`s hide shaggy hair spilling all over and COLOURED BABY BLUE.
signed - all my threads cut - Doris
Thursday, March 27, 2014
Doctors - doctors - Doctors
So now I have appointments with my doctor for one hour - Blood work in the lab for the appointment with the kidney doctor and a specialist to see the toe doctor. What a chorus line-up!
Saw Willy - brought home loads of his clothes. He was dressed neat in the cupboard's split back things. He reached his hand to hold mine - good.
They must have had twelve bottles for my blood test. Dr. Ao is thorough !
If there's anything wrong with me it should definitely turn up in one of these.
Brenda came to supervise what forms to return to income tax and which to keep. I didn't want to delay sending the things back so all will be taken care of for the year and at least that's off my mind.
Reams of forms but income tax man looks like he did a good job because Willy's stuff is not straight forward.
signed - doctored up Doris
Saw Willy - brought home loads of his clothes. He was dressed neat in the cupboard's split back things. He reached his hand to hold mine - good.
They must have had twelve bottles for my blood test. Dr. Ao is thorough !
If there's anything wrong with me it should definitely turn up in one of these.
Brenda came to supervise what forms to return to income tax and which to keep. I didn't want to delay sending the things back so all will be taken care of for the year and at least that's off my mind.
Reams of forms but income tax man looks like he did a good job because Willy's stuff is not straight forward.
signed - doctored up Doris
Wednesday, March 26, 2014
My talk
Well today came - the day to give the talk and yes - I was still worried it might be criticized.
They had invited as they called them - my "groupies" so there were a good number attending.
Val sat next to me and looks so good even after her treatment session.
So - re-affirming I was just a story-teller, I read my piece. Afterwards the President thanked me and said "I've never done this before but I think we should have a standing ovation!" So everyone stood and clapped long and hard. Now wasn't that great?
All that worry for nothing.
I went to get my prescriptions and the doctor has changed some and didn't tell me and the Pharmacist questioned that I still had some of one pill and am I sure I should have more. Came home and the Kidney specialist phoned and wants me to have blood work done before she sees me. And my doctor said I must change the time of my appointment with him because he wants to spend a longer time. Guess it's the Government thing where they record how you're doing every year for research. Who knows?
But my friend can't go for lunch tomorrow so I'll have time to do these things and the income tax forms have arrived and they want me to return certain forms before I get the refunds.
Enough!!! I'm going to watch T.V.
signed liking the standing ovation - Doris
They had invited as they called them - my "groupies" so there were a good number attending.
Val sat next to me and looks so good even after her treatment session.
So - re-affirming I was just a story-teller, I read my piece. Afterwards the President thanked me and said "I've never done this before but I think we should have a standing ovation!" So everyone stood and clapped long and hard. Now wasn't that great?
All that worry for nothing.
I went to get my prescriptions and the doctor has changed some and didn't tell me and the Pharmacist questioned that I still had some of one pill and am I sure I should have more. Came home and the Kidney specialist phoned and wants me to have blood work done before she sees me. And my doctor said I must change the time of my appointment with him because he wants to spend a longer time. Guess it's the Government thing where they record how you're doing every year for research. Who knows?
But my friend can't go for lunch tomorrow so I'll have time to do these things and the income tax forms have arrived and they want me to return certain forms before I get the refunds.
Enough!!! I'm going to watch T.V.
signed liking the standing ovation - Doris
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Disability clothing
Kind of nice thing getting a phone call from Amber of Disability clothing. She offered to go to Willy today and get his measurements for fitting the clothes I ordered with the easy access to fit him. Not many people would do that in such a hurried world as this. I'm very grateful (I say that word a lot lately) because I don't like having to park on Main street where her shop is located with hardly any spaces available.
My friend wanted to pick me up to see her sculpture and she has fashioned pieces of wood to make abstract work. Impressive.
And we had dinner together at her place which was a surprise and a bonus.
What was so lovely was that she was volunteering at the art centre and got to talk with two young women. One came from Langley and one from Surrey and do you know why?
One lady's sister had received one of my books and wanted others but couldn't find where they were sold. They came all that way so they could buy five of my books !!!!
Seems as though word is spreading that my books are good reading material.
My friend told them to come when we had our show in June/July and I could sign them.
Oh Boy!! We discussed having the celebration of my 90th birthday on opening day of our show - that's the 28th June. Not quite my birthday but very close. The darling lady said she wouldn't mind it happening on that day so who knows? It would be good marketing but I don't want to take the high-light away from her.
Tomorrow I give the talk - keeping my fingers crossed that it is good enough.
signed talking Doris
My friend wanted to pick me up to see her sculpture and she has fashioned pieces of wood to make abstract work. Impressive.
And we had dinner together at her place which was a surprise and a bonus.
What was so lovely was that she was volunteering at the art centre and got to talk with two young women. One came from Langley and one from Surrey and do you know why?
One lady's sister had received one of my books and wanted others but couldn't find where they were sold. They came all that way so they could buy five of my books !!!!
Seems as though word is spreading that my books are good reading material.
My friend told them to come when we had our show in June/July and I could sign them.
Oh Boy!! We discussed having the celebration of my 90th birthday on opening day of our show - that's the 28th June. Not quite my birthday but very close. The darling lady said she wouldn't mind it happening on that day so who knows? It would be good marketing but I don't want to take the high-light away from her.
Tomorrow I give the talk - keeping my fingers crossed that it is good enough.
signed talking Doris
Monday, March 24, 2014
Harris Tweed jacket
Today I brought more of Willy's clothes home and amongst them was his Harris Tweed jacket.
Harris Tweed is made in Scotland and has the highest reputation. My mother had a coat made from it and wore it most of my life, never getting threadbare or tired looking.
When I first met Willy he had a beautiful suit (out dated) but in immaculate condition. He had a Vyella dressing gown and this light and dark grey (Shades of grey????) sports jacket.
This is what he wore when we were married in my studio.
He wore it if we dined in a fancy restaurant - which wasn't often but we did go out celebrating our birthdays.
So I knew he knew good quality and had good taste even though he hid it with thrift shop clothes by the time we got together. Even asking me to 'turn' the collars on his shirts because they were ragged. Turning collars means undoing the sewing and re-stitching the underside of the collar to be the top side.
I don't know if the Lord descended on him one night to show him the humble way of life but something happened to make him put away anything elegant from a certain time.
I wrote a poem about that jacket when he left it in my closet by mistake when I knew that I loved him.
And now it's over for him wearing these clothes and I feel sad putting the Harris Tweed coat with the rest to go to someone who could use it. I bet they'll never suspect it was written about in a book.
But he's still going. Today he was stretched out on top of his bed in Pleasantview wearing the slit-back articles. He was agitated - trying to make me get him out of bed which of course I can't do. I had to leave because his face got so angry and I got upset.
I visited my daughter who had just returned from being in Harrison Hot Springs.
All the rooms were full in the large, luxury hotel so the economy must be picking up. She and her friend were rejuvenated by going into the mineral pool and being in the lovely scenery.
We talked about how wonderful to live in this spot on earth with temperate weather, Ski-ing close by,
fishing in the river, golf all around and mineral springs whenever we want.
The table on her deck had spring, pretty coloured flowers and made such a pretty picture. Yes - cherry blossoms are out and the Forsythia is in the garden here next door catching the sun and glowing gold. Hooray!
signed remembering Harris Tweed, my mother and my Willy - Doris
Harris Tweed is made in Scotland and has the highest reputation. My mother had a coat made from it and wore it most of my life, never getting threadbare or tired looking.
When I first met Willy he had a beautiful suit (out dated) but in immaculate condition. He had a Vyella dressing gown and this light and dark grey (Shades of grey????) sports jacket.
This is what he wore when we were married in my studio.
He wore it if we dined in a fancy restaurant - which wasn't often but we did go out celebrating our birthdays.
So I knew he knew good quality and had good taste even though he hid it with thrift shop clothes by the time we got together. Even asking me to 'turn' the collars on his shirts because they were ragged. Turning collars means undoing the sewing and re-stitching the underside of the collar to be the top side.
I don't know if the Lord descended on him one night to show him the humble way of life but something happened to make him put away anything elegant from a certain time.
I wrote a poem about that jacket when he left it in my closet by mistake when I knew that I loved him.
And now it's over for him wearing these clothes and I feel sad putting the Harris Tweed coat with the rest to go to someone who could use it. I bet they'll never suspect it was written about in a book.
But he's still going. Today he was stretched out on top of his bed in Pleasantview wearing the slit-back articles. He was agitated - trying to make me get him out of bed which of course I can't do. I had to leave because his face got so angry and I got upset.
I visited my daughter who had just returned from being in Harrison Hot Springs.
All the rooms were full in the large, luxury hotel so the economy must be picking up. She and her friend were rejuvenated by going into the mineral pool and being in the lovely scenery.
We talked about how wonderful to live in this spot on earth with temperate weather, Ski-ing close by,
fishing in the river, golf all around and mineral springs whenever we want.
The table on her deck had spring, pretty coloured flowers and made such a pretty picture. Yes - cherry blossoms are out and the Forsythia is in the garden here next door catching the sun and glowing gold. Hooray!
signed remembering Harris Tweed, my mother and my Willy - Doris
Sunday, March 23, 2014
My ninety-six year old friend
My friend and I talked today about life and the end of it. She'll be 97 soon and thinks she'll be glad to "go" anytime soon. She did have a fall but other than pain in her back, she's alert and participating in activities here.
I told her she can't leave yet because I talk more to her than anyone else !!!!
Joy and her partner are coming for dinner tonight because it's roast beef. I didn't get wine. I'm leaving that to others these days because it's too tedious to get to the liquor store, carry bottles to the car and down the corridor to dinner. From now on it will only be me and dinner for entertainment.
Someone's put a whole lot of biography books in the social lounge - ones I'd never choose myself but they look interesting. Martin Luther King - Russ Perot (sp) etc.
Trouble is they're big and fat and I can't slice them up to read because they don't belong to me. I'll try to manage but my wrists complain.
Finally finished Nelson Mandela and still think there are too many names, trials and side stories for the average Joe to read. As I said, he could have made a history book and then a personal story.
I have read Winnie Mandela's book and it gives another slant to the their lives. I noticed she was at his funeral which was good.
Still come to the conclusion that if you're going to make a difference in the world to that degree, you have to let family matters slide. Case of Either - or -.
Talk about a whopping surprise that the income tax person phoned. Can't wait to get the final summary.
Wish I could share that good news with Willy. They phoned to say he fell out of bed again. He's always fighting - like Nelson Mandela - whether it's against orders or what he wants to wear.
signed thankful I can still read - Doris
I told her she can't leave yet because I talk more to her than anyone else !!!!
Joy and her partner are coming for dinner tonight because it's roast beef. I didn't get wine. I'm leaving that to others these days because it's too tedious to get to the liquor store, carry bottles to the car and down the corridor to dinner. From now on it will only be me and dinner for entertainment.
Someone's put a whole lot of biography books in the social lounge - ones I'd never choose myself but they look interesting. Martin Luther King - Russ Perot (sp) etc.
Trouble is they're big and fat and I can't slice them up to read because they don't belong to me. I'll try to manage but my wrists complain.
Finally finished Nelson Mandela and still think there are too many names, trials and side stories for the average Joe to read. As I said, he could have made a history book and then a personal story.
I have read Winnie Mandela's book and it gives another slant to the their lives. I noticed she was at his funeral which was good.
Still come to the conclusion that if you're going to make a difference in the world to that degree, you have to let family matters slide. Case of Either - or -.
Talk about a whopping surprise that the income tax person phoned. Can't wait to get the final summary.
Wish I could share that good news with Willy. They phoned to say he fell out of bed again. He's always fighting - like Nelson Mandela - whether it's against orders or what he wants to wear.
signed thankful I can still read - Doris
Saturday, March 22, 2014
Facing the change in Willy
1. New residents must be equipped with pants which have hip protectors in them.
I think everyone who is coping with a loved one going to Extended Care, Terminal Care or any name they give the place which is the facility to care for this person you cannot manage to look after yourself anymore, should be able to face a few things in advance.
2. From using a walker, they will eventually need a wheelchair.
My experience is to know you will probably land up buying/loaning two.
The first could be smaller and lighter which will be easier to move.
The second will be mainly for the resident to be able to nap by laying back in the larger one in comfort. But it's hard for them to maneuver.
3. The resident will reach a stage where they will have to be lifted to the toilet by a machine and lowered back into the wheelchair.
Also they will be wheeled to the dining room but the staff will feed them by spoon.
3. All the clothes which they came in with cannot be put on the person anymore. There's no need for hip protector pants anymore because the person doesn't even stand up so you can't ease the pants up over their bottoms. They will have slippers instead of shoes.
So the next step is to contact a company/person who sells/makes disabled clothing.
4. To enable you to first be aware that time will come, I will tell you there is a place in Mission City
I will give you the address.
ADRESSING NEEDS - Disabled Services Clothing. #1 33225 1st Avenue Mission BC V2V 1G7
Phone 1-800-817-4365
Amberin Bonnett.
Pleasantview has loaned me some of this type of clothes until the time when I can get Willy's made.
This came so suddenly. When I went to visit, he had just had his bath and his knees were covered with a warm sheet. It was one instance I could see what he was trying to tell me because he was pointing to it in an agitated way. It was a decision that was made, a turning point.
When I got some things from the loan cupboard, I put a warm jacket on Willy myself which had a slit down the back and could see it's now impossible to get the clothes behind him.
He was leaning too far over in his wheelchair and falling asleep so I watched as the staff worked the machine to lift him and put him to sleep on his bed.
His face relaxed and a look of peace came over him. I was glad.
I told the staff member what the doctor had told me. She asked if I wanted to be with him when he died and I said 'no'.
I must think about that answer some more. Right now I feel too fragile to have such an emotional time. I have to be careful of my own situation. I know Willy would understand because he always knew I wasn't strong with that kind of issue. And thinking back, he always protected me from upsetting instances.
I'll always be grateful for the loving care Willy has had by the staff at Pleasantview. Such good people.
signed - I have loved Willy too - Doris
Friday, March 21, 2014
As the stomach churns!
Sometimes I wish I didn't have e-mail. Getting bad news comes swift and no indication ahead of time. It isn't earth-shattering but I must have been too easy with teaching some of the children how to manage finances.
I don't know what more I could have done. They had allowances (for doing small chores) - I encouraged them to save up for their bicycles and when they had a half amount, I'd match it. I never went over my budget myself and neither did their father.
We were never ever extravagant with buying high end anything.
No point in wondering why, I suppose and guess there's so much more temptation now to indulge with influence from T.V., magazines, I-pads, credit cards galore and their peer group wanting everything before they can pay for it. Buy now - pay later thinking.
And after saying that, I would have never given up having e-mail because today I was sent a video from my friend Michael Orton with his outstanding, forward photography and music. He began using subject matter but with an artist's eye. He won awards all the time, became exasperated with the unexciting mundane examples of other photos presented so often - and after years, and I mean years of experimenting and working, developed newer ways of combining and composing abstracts.
He had two books published on his ideas. He struggled to push higher and the results are this wonderful video, so beautiful to make my insides melt with wonder.
You can bring up his web site www.michaelorton can't remember the rest - you'll find it. Or I'll relay it tomorrow.
We came together when he was giving one of his shows in the old days where he'd set up in an auditorium and play taped music to go with his slides. He had the same compunction as I did - to go higher with art, not knowing what would make it higher. He talked about me in his book.
His wife Mary is his designer and help-mate and she's wonderful as well.
We have simultaneously both come to the point where we use abstraction in a way which brings our audience closer to us, using a title to allow a pathway for the viewer to have a better understanding of what we are portraying.
It helps to have someone who makes you feel less lonely in the strange world of art.
signed in awe of the magic of art - Doris
I don't know what more I could have done. They had allowances (for doing small chores) - I encouraged them to save up for their bicycles and when they had a half amount, I'd match it. I never went over my budget myself and neither did their father.
We were never ever extravagant with buying high end anything.
No point in wondering why, I suppose and guess there's so much more temptation now to indulge with influence from T.V., magazines, I-pads, credit cards galore and their peer group wanting everything before they can pay for it. Buy now - pay later thinking.
And after saying that, I would have never given up having e-mail because today I was sent a video from my friend Michael Orton with his outstanding, forward photography and music. He began using subject matter but with an artist's eye. He won awards all the time, became exasperated with the unexciting mundane examples of other photos presented so often - and after years, and I mean years of experimenting and working, developed newer ways of combining and composing abstracts.
He had two books published on his ideas. He struggled to push higher and the results are this wonderful video, so beautiful to make my insides melt with wonder.
You can bring up his web site www.michaelorton can't remember the rest - you'll find it. Or I'll relay it tomorrow.
We came together when he was giving one of his shows in the old days where he'd set up in an auditorium and play taped music to go with his slides. He had the same compunction as I did - to go higher with art, not knowing what would make it higher. He talked about me in his book.
His wife Mary is his designer and help-mate and she's wonderful as well.
We have simultaneously both come to the point where we use abstraction in a way which brings our audience closer to us, using a title to allow a pathway for the viewer to have a better understanding of what we are portraying.
It helps to have someone who makes you feel less lonely in the strange world of art.
signed in awe of the magic of art - Doris
Thursday, March 20, 2014
ufo s
I believe in UFOs.
My scientific son believes in UFOs too and I get these attachments of videos from him about the many other people who believe in UFOs.
One day authorities are going to close down my computer because of these attachments of UFOs because they don't like people believing in UFOs.
My former husband was Public Relations officer for the forces for Saskatchewan and Manitoba. He was Public relations officer for other places but this occurred in Manitoba.
There was a report of a crash landing of one way up north and he had to inspect the area. He never talked about it but it got in the papers. The circle where it had landed was burnt to a crisp and there was electrical interference like in true crop circles. The people who witnessed it coming down were precise in what they'd seen but it was dismissed as a hoax.
Also when we were in North Bay, two members of the air force were skating on an ice-rink not too far from our house on New Years Eve and were laughed at because it was New Years Eve but they had witnessed a UFO close by. Everyone who heard about it said they must have been drunk.
My friend who follows Crop Circle occurrences and I had an art show together called "Beyond the known" It was wonderful as we told of strange things that had happened to us - he in glass objects and me in paintings.
Willy was very uncomfortable in his wheelchair, leaning a lot over the side. I could make out that he wanted some pants on. He'd had a bath and they couldn't get his clothes on him as he can't stand so they just put a blanket on his knees.
I called the care-aid and wasn't too happy about her telling me I'd have to see about getting proper clothes with a slit up the back of them and pay for them. Nobody has mentioned anything about this procedure. They will phone me tomorrow with more information.
He was agitated because of it and he desperately wanted to tell me something but I couldn't make out what it was because his voice won't work.
I left to come home and felt drained of energy.
signed feeling his frustration - Doris
My scientific son believes in UFOs too and I get these attachments of videos from him about the many other people who believe in UFOs.
One day authorities are going to close down my computer because of these attachments of UFOs because they don't like people believing in UFOs.
My former husband was Public Relations officer for the forces for Saskatchewan and Manitoba. He was Public relations officer for other places but this occurred in Manitoba.
There was a report of a crash landing of one way up north and he had to inspect the area. He never talked about it but it got in the papers. The circle where it had landed was burnt to a crisp and there was electrical interference like in true crop circles. The people who witnessed it coming down were precise in what they'd seen but it was dismissed as a hoax.
Also when we were in North Bay, two members of the air force were skating on an ice-rink not too far from our house on New Years Eve and were laughed at because it was New Years Eve but they had witnessed a UFO close by. Everyone who heard about it said they must have been drunk.
My friend who follows Crop Circle occurrences and I had an art show together called "Beyond the known" It was wonderful as we told of strange things that had happened to us - he in glass objects and me in paintings.
Willy was very uncomfortable in his wheelchair, leaning a lot over the side. I could make out that he wanted some pants on. He'd had a bath and they couldn't get his clothes on him as he can't stand so they just put a blanket on his knees.
I called the care-aid and wasn't too happy about her telling me I'd have to see about getting proper clothes with a slit up the back of them and pay for them. Nobody has mentioned anything about this procedure. They will phone me tomorrow with more information.
He was agitated because of it and he desperately wanted to tell me something but I couldn't make out what it was because his voice won't work.
I left to come home and felt drained of energy.
signed feeling his frustration - Doris
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
Book
I mailed my "The artist and the bicycle man" book to Chicago.
My son Norman lives and works there. He has a friend who wants an autographed book from me.
Guess I should get the thing that Margaret Atwood has which allows her to autograph your book through the Internet. You buy the book and you are asked what your name is - You see Margaret Atwood on Skype and a machine autographs her signature directed to your name!
It's better and cheaper to order from Amazon but the friend is right - having the signature is better. It cost $16.15 for me to mail it.
This son is a computer whiz and has all kinds of experiences with different corporations but now works for the research dept. of Chicago University for diabetes and Alzheimer's.
I did business at the bank and bought new kind of needles from Shoppers Drug Mart. I bleed or bruise often when I inject insulin so I'm hoping these will be better. They are BD U/FINE NANO Pen needles in case anyone else is interested. I'm now up to 32 units of Levimer insulin. But many people here have 50 units.
Went to see Brenda and she's got her place looking really nice now and her Lemon tree was infested so her son pressure washed it and it's fine today!
I reminded her of how much support she's given me over the years with my art. She has modelled for me, taken photographs and bought my work. She has been important to me.
We don't stand alone in the world. Many people go to make what we are.
signed books going to the USA Doris
My son Norman lives and works there. He has a friend who wants an autographed book from me.
Guess I should get the thing that Margaret Atwood has which allows her to autograph your book through the Internet. You buy the book and you are asked what your name is - You see Margaret Atwood on Skype and a machine autographs her signature directed to your name!
It's better and cheaper to order from Amazon but the friend is right - having the signature is better. It cost $16.15 for me to mail it.
This son is a computer whiz and has all kinds of experiences with different corporations but now works for the research dept. of Chicago University for diabetes and Alzheimer's.
I did business at the bank and bought new kind of needles from Shoppers Drug Mart. I bleed or bruise often when I inject insulin so I'm hoping these will be better. They are BD U/FINE NANO Pen needles in case anyone else is interested. I'm now up to 32 units of Levimer insulin. But many people here have 50 units.
Went to see Brenda and she's got her place looking really nice now and her Lemon tree was infested so her son pressure washed it and it's fine today!
I reminded her of how much support she's given me over the years with my art. She has modelled for me, taken photographs and bought my work. She has been important to me.
We don't stand alone in the world. Many people go to make what we are.
signed books going to the USA Doris
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
Tired
It's late - 11.45 p.m. and I've let time slip by. And I'm tired
Joy and little Cara (great granddaughter 6 years old) came to visit. Joy wanted to know what we could do for fun and I had absolutely no idea what would be fun in this modern age for two young persons.
Cara showed me a cat on Joy's phone. It's an interacting cat and it repeats everything you say to it. What made me laugh uncontrollably was when the same words come out of the cat's mouth it sounds hilarious. You can rub its stomach and it purrs and if you push hard on it - it says "No,no" and falls over. So I laughed which made Joy and Cara laugh too so we had some kind of fun.
We went over to Heritage park but I wasn't dressed warm enough and felt really chilled. Cara enjoyed it though but wanted to go on swings which were not in evidence. We went into the café and I had hot coffee and a scone. Cara had a slice of apple pie and ice cream. I got warm in a hurry.
The scones are made so large now that when I came home I couldn't eat any dinner as I was full.
We went to see Willy and he was lying in bed but looked comfortable - I think he's getting a sedative because he seems sleepy a lot. He sent me a kiss by remote as he calls it. Joy waved goodbye to him and we saw the covers move up and down where his hand was.
I read my revised talk to Joy and she approved it - even Cara approved it!!! So that's good.
signed nightie night, tired Doris
Joy and little Cara (great granddaughter 6 years old) came to visit. Joy wanted to know what we could do for fun and I had absolutely no idea what would be fun in this modern age for two young persons.
Cara showed me a cat on Joy's phone. It's an interacting cat and it repeats everything you say to it. What made me laugh uncontrollably was when the same words come out of the cat's mouth it sounds hilarious. You can rub its stomach and it purrs and if you push hard on it - it says "No,no" and falls over. So I laughed which made Joy and Cara laugh too so we had some kind of fun.
We went over to Heritage park but I wasn't dressed warm enough and felt really chilled. Cara enjoyed it though but wanted to go on swings which were not in evidence. We went into the café and I had hot coffee and a scone. Cara had a slice of apple pie and ice cream. I got warm in a hurry.
The scones are made so large now that when I came home I couldn't eat any dinner as I was full.
We went to see Willy and he was lying in bed but looked comfortable - I think he's getting a sedative because he seems sleepy a lot. He sent me a kiss by remote as he calls it. Joy waved goodbye to him and we saw the covers move up and down where his hand was.
I read my revised talk to Joy and she approved it - even Cara approved it!!! So that's good.
signed nightie night, tired Doris
Monday, March 17, 2014
Lunch out.
My friend came and we went for lunch at the Greek restaurant. Asked for a quiet booth so we could talk the waitress took us to a booth at the back. Wouldn't you know - that's where two larger parties gathered afterwards so it wasn't quiet but the food was good. I had Dolmades which are minced meat wrapped in grape leaves served with salad.
The owner brought us a cream filled pastry as a gift for desert.
On the way home, my friend stopped the car to let me see the new businesses in the centre block of Mission downtown. "The English Tarts" (great success) have been there quite a while. Next comes a supposed Antique shop - a real Character runs it and came up with a great idea to have the facing back wall covered with three rugs creating a huge abstract design - really clever. Hope someone brings in some good stuff so that people will make a point to visit there. Next comes a rock and gem place - interesting. Next is the shop where Mady is to start a wool shop. John was in there working away and caught us looking through the window so invited us in to look at the space. We said we were Mady's friends. We both were pleased to see it was larger than we thought and the renovations are going to be magnificent. Good for you Mady!!!
I thought that John was a character too. He loves going to the Rotary once a week and his life revolves around being in the club.
Now Mission will have four newer shops of interest in a row, in the right block of businesses because Mission people gravitate towards only that block and hurrah for an upturn in this precious town.
Nelson Madela's book has so many names mentioned, your head gets tired of trying to place them. He should have put all those names in a separate book (how he ever remembered all of them, only heaven knows) and then wrote this book for the general reader.
He went hunting with an air rifle to shoot doves. I thought it was so ironical because he was for peace. He shot a sparrow and it fell to the ground. A small boy said "Why did you do that? It's mother will be so sad." and Nelson was brought up short about it.
Ghandi managed to change things with non-violence. I'm sorry Mandela had to use violence in the end even if it was sabotage mainly.
signed guess it's easy to be for peace when you're nearly ninety - Doris
The owner brought us a cream filled pastry as a gift for desert.
On the way home, my friend stopped the car to let me see the new businesses in the centre block of Mission downtown. "The English Tarts" (great success) have been there quite a while. Next comes a supposed Antique shop - a real Character runs it and came up with a great idea to have the facing back wall covered with three rugs creating a huge abstract design - really clever. Hope someone brings in some good stuff so that people will make a point to visit there. Next comes a rock and gem place - interesting. Next is the shop where Mady is to start a wool shop. John was in there working away and caught us looking through the window so invited us in to look at the space. We said we were Mady's friends. We both were pleased to see it was larger than we thought and the renovations are going to be magnificent. Good for you Mady!!!
I thought that John was a character too. He loves going to the Rotary once a week and his life revolves around being in the club.
Now Mission will have four newer shops of interest in a row, in the right block of businesses because Mission people gravitate towards only that block and hurrah for an upturn in this precious town.
Nelson Madela's book has so many names mentioned, your head gets tired of trying to place them. He should have put all those names in a separate book (how he ever remembered all of them, only heaven knows) and then wrote this book for the general reader.
He went hunting with an air rifle to shoot doves. I thought it was so ironical because he was for peace. He shot a sparrow and it fell to the ground. A small boy said "Why did you do that? It's mother will be so sad." and Nelson was brought up short about it.
Ghandi managed to change things with non-violence. I'm sorry Mandela had to use violence in the end even if it was sabotage mainly.
signed guess it's easy to be for peace when you're nearly ninety - Doris
Sunday, March 16, 2014
Mine's a Minor
In Piccadilly Square, London during the war time, I stood looking at all the propaganda posters and ad.s for various companies. One was simple and huge and had a young woman leaning against a wall smoking a cigarette and the wording said "Ten minutes to wait so mine's a Minor."
I guess for some reason the words stayed with me because every time I have ten minutes to wait I tell myself "Mine's a Minor" (without taking a smoke myself) and ten minutes doesn't seem so long !!!
I wondered why I would write a blog and now I know - I need to get all these funny quirks out of my brain!
Did you watch "Holy Money" on Passionate Eye? I think of the long time that Popes have disabused the church and the hypocrisy of the Holiness. How could it have existed so long without people questioning? I've just turned off the T.V. after seeing the documentary.
Willy was better when I visited and he was in the big wheelchair. They fitted him out with rolled up sheets in his back (he leans over to the side) Different clothes - I guess clothes get left behind when others die and they share them around. Willy's back is humped so it's extremely hard to get him into anything. But he can't talk - think his voice muscles have given up.
On the menu for today was to visit my long-term friend. I made myself get in the car and drive over and happily she was home and we talked non-stop. She has adopted one dog from a neighbour and is looking after another. She is a St.Francis of Assisi with dogs. She has bought my paintings and one especially is a very spiritual work. I got a thrill to see something that managed to reach a higher plane
than usual.
How valuable to us who paint and write to have these people believe in us.
signed non-smoking Doris
I guess for some reason the words stayed with me because every time I have ten minutes to wait I tell myself "Mine's a Minor" (without taking a smoke myself) and ten minutes doesn't seem so long !!!
I wondered why I would write a blog and now I know - I need to get all these funny quirks out of my brain!
Did you watch "Holy Money" on Passionate Eye? I think of the long time that Popes have disabused the church and the hypocrisy of the Holiness. How could it have existed so long without people questioning? I've just turned off the T.V. after seeing the documentary.
Willy was better when I visited and he was in the big wheelchair. They fitted him out with rolled up sheets in his back (he leans over to the side) Different clothes - I guess clothes get left behind when others die and they share them around. Willy's back is humped so it's extremely hard to get him into anything. But he can't talk - think his voice muscles have given up.
On the menu for today was to visit my long-term friend. I made myself get in the car and drive over and happily she was home and we talked non-stop. She has adopted one dog from a neighbour and is looking after another. She is a St.Francis of Assisi with dogs. She has bought my paintings and one especially is a very spiritual work. I got a thrill to see something that managed to reach a higher plane
than usual.
How valuable to us who paint and write to have these people believe in us.
signed non-smoking Doris
Saturday, March 15, 2014
My Globe and Mail day
Saturday is Globe and Mail day. Years and years of Saturday Globe and Mail day.
I feel cast adrift if something prevents me from getting it. I don't know who delivers it right to my door here but I'm glad they do.
First I look for my horoscope, then immediately forget what it said. My great-granddaughter looks at hers after the day is done which is a good idea.
It usually is very blah - saying today will be hard/good/not so good. Something like fortune tellers; if they search around long enough they'll pick up some prophecy which will ring true. Having said that, I went to three fortune tellers in my life. They were uncannily true.
The first one was when I was single in England and this is what she said.
"You will marry a man who comes from another country. Actually the town where he comes from straddles two countries and I see a ship going along a street in this town."
Result.
Ted (my former husband)came from the city of Cornwall Ontario which is on the border of USA and Canada.
At the bottom of the main street there was a canal and as I stood at the top of this street looking down (after I came here of course) a ship was going along the canal looking as if it was on the street !!!
Now who would have conjured that up? I hadn't even met Ted yet.
So I was in Canada for about six months and we visited Ted's uncle who was known to tell the future.
He said, "You will be asked to look after a teen-ager. It will be very hard for you. After you've had him quite a long time, you will have pressure from someone for him to be returned to the person who sent him. If you refuse and he stays with you, you will be millionaires. But if you give in and send him back, you will always struggle with finances.
Result.
My teen age brother hated my father because he married another woman after six weeks of our mother dying. He rebelled and my father asked him if he wanted to come to Canada to live with us. We had a business which was going bankrupt. If he had stayed with us, he could have baby-sat the two children while I took over at the shop. I let him return to my father because it was too expensive to educate and have him with us when we were struggling. We certainly never got to be millionaires.
And the third one looked at the lines of my hand.
He said, "You have tremendous energy and spirit. And because you have this straight line going up on your right hand, you will be extremely rich."
Result.
I feel my spirit strongly and I'm still waiting to be rich!
signed strong Doris
I feel cast adrift if something prevents me from getting it. I don't know who delivers it right to my door here but I'm glad they do.
First I look for my horoscope, then immediately forget what it said. My great-granddaughter looks at hers after the day is done which is a good idea.
It usually is very blah - saying today will be hard/good/not so good. Something like fortune tellers; if they search around long enough they'll pick up some prophecy which will ring true. Having said that, I went to three fortune tellers in my life. They were uncannily true.
The first one was when I was single in England and this is what she said.
"You will marry a man who comes from another country. Actually the town where he comes from straddles two countries and I see a ship going along a street in this town."
Result.
Ted (my former husband)came from the city of Cornwall Ontario which is on the border of USA and Canada.
At the bottom of the main street there was a canal and as I stood at the top of this street looking down (after I came here of course) a ship was going along the canal looking as if it was on the street !!!
Now who would have conjured that up? I hadn't even met Ted yet.
So I was in Canada for about six months and we visited Ted's uncle who was known to tell the future.
He said, "You will be asked to look after a teen-ager. It will be very hard for you. After you've had him quite a long time, you will have pressure from someone for him to be returned to the person who sent him. If you refuse and he stays with you, you will be millionaires. But if you give in and send him back, you will always struggle with finances.
Result.
My teen age brother hated my father because he married another woman after six weeks of our mother dying. He rebelled and my father asked him if he wanted to come to Canada to live with us. We had a business which was going bankrupt. If he had stayed with us, he could have baby-sat the two children while I took over at the shop. I let him return to my father because it was too expensive to educate and have him with us when we were struggling. We certainly never got to be millionaires.
And the third one looked at the lines of my hand.
He said, "You have tremendous energy and spirit. And because you have this straight line going up on your right hand, you will be extremely rich."
Result.
I feel my spirit strongly and I'm still waiting to be rich!
signed strong Doris
Friday, March 14, 2014
Choices
Strange that an older retired woman in Assisted Living still has decisions and choices to make in an ordinary day.
Our activity lady needs all the help she can get and is also - shall I say - Bible-minded. She has worked miracles with young people and undertaken to accept others into her home.
She has chosen to ask a team of lovely, Bible College students to come to Carrington to call out Bingo games, decorate rooms for seasonal holidays and even do some detailed cleaning like between the banister railings.
Today she asked people at their dining tables if they'd like to chat with these youngsters. As some were the same ones who come to my door to hear about writing and my life, I said "Okay". So two young ladies sat with me and we talked away. They intend to be and are being trained to be - modern day missionaries. Helping the poor in undeveloped countries.
But I don't believe we should have missionaries. Do I tell them that?
That's when choices come in.
So I bring in the fact that the world is always in a state of war somewhere or the other and it's all because of religions. I tell them the story of the Catholic convent in Hong Kong and how our family was condemned to hell unless we changed from Church of England to be Catholics - according to their religion. And I told them about the Reverend Mother saying she would give me the Cinderella ball gown that I wore in the play but only if I became a Catholic. I was fourteen at the time.
And I remembered the Nuns going out at night to pick up girl babies left in the gutters. Did these little ones end up having a good life? Or would it have been better to let them die?
Who knows if we make good choices? And what if we choose to be completely honest and by doing so, we hurt others?
In Mandela's story he wrestles with the question. Is it right to devote yourself to freedom of your country yet by doing so you are avoiding the greatest thing you can do on earth which is to look after your family? One has to be sacrificed for the other, you cannot do both. Choices.
And that is the way it was today. signed Quandary-prone Doris
Our activity lady needs all the help she can get and is also - shall I say - Bible-minded. She has worked miracles with young people and undertaken to accept others into her home.
She has chosen to ask a team of lovely, Bible College students to come to Carrington to call out Bingo games, decorate rooms for seasonal holidays and even do some detailed cleaning like between the banister railings.
Today she asked people at their dining tables if they'd like to chat with these youngsters. As some were the same ones who come to my door to hear about writing and my life, I said "Okay". So two young ladies sat with me and we talked away. They intend to be and are being trained to be - modern day missionaries. Helping the poor in undeveloped countries.
But I don't believe we should have missionaries. Do I tell them that?
That's when choices come in.
So I bring in the fact that the world is always in a state of war somewhere or the other and it's all because of religions. I tell them the story of the Catholic convent in Hong Kong and how our family was condemned to hell unless we changed from Church of England to be Catholics - according to their religion. And I told them about the Reverend Mother saying she would give me the Cinderella ball gown that I wore in the play but only if I became a Catholic. I was fourteen at the time.
And I remembered the Nuns going out at night to pick up girl babies left in the gutters. Did these little ones end up having a good life? Or would it have been better to let them die?
Who knows if we make good choices? And what if we choose to be completely honest and by doing so, we hurt others?
In Mandela's story he wrestles with the question. Is it right to devote yourself to freedom of your country yet by doing so you are avoiding the greatest thing you can do on earth which is to look after your family? One has to be sacrificed for the other, you cannot do both. Choices.
And that is the way it was today. signed Quandary-prone Doris
Thursday, March 13, 2014
Wheelchair
It's been decided - think Willy must have had what they call "an incident" in the small wheelchair because he has to accept that is his future now - to be in the big wheelchair and be wheeled to his meals. It's a safety concern.
So I've got the small wheelchair in the trunk of the car (a care-aid lifted it in) but have to wait for someone to lift it out.
At this point I could rent another suite to accommodate all the invalid accessories I've collected.
Went to my favourite restaurant with my friends in Abbotsford and it was great to be in the swing of things again. They have a real chef there so it was fun to try different things.
Made a decision to ask for guidance from my other friend and feel relieved that we will talk about my concerns.
So I've got the small wheelchair in the trunk of the car (a care-aid lifted it in) but have to wait for someone to lift it out.
At this point I could rent another suite to accommodate all the invalid accessories I've collected.
Went to my favourite restaurant with my friends in Abbotsford and it was great to be in the swing of things again. They have a real chef there so it was fun to try different things.
Made a decision to ask for guidance from my other friend and feel relieved that we will talk about my concerns.
Wednesday, March 12, 2014
Doctor's call.
Willy's doctor called.
Was kind and gentle in all he said which is this.
"From what I gather from the nurses at Pleasantview, Willy has had some incidents leading me to believe he is having episodes called "heart block."
When he was in Hospital he was examined by a cardiologist and it was determined that he has this problem as well as his Bronchitis.
Surgery could be done. Heart monitoring could be done which means Abbotsford Hospital or Pace-maker put in.
What do you think Willy would like to have done? Or would you say let nature take its course?"
I told the doctor that he has refused:-
dental help for rotten teeth.
medicine for Parkinson's. (which he has been given in spite of his refusal. He thinks it is a vitamin dose)
Cataract removal (which I thought was awful to refuse but was told it was HIS decision)
He is ninety-three years old and would probably refuse any operation in his original frame of mind.
It's almost like being asked if you should take someone off life-support!
It's not pleasant.
I asked the doctor is he still able to make the move to the new building. His answer was "Yes"
What did he think of the situation. I gathered it was the same as I thought - Let nature be his friend as it always was with him.
I understand now the extra concern for his care the care-aids gave him when I visited and the social worker trying to breach the subject by phone to me and Sharon coming in the room to talk. They want to know how I'm dealing with it but don't want to push me. I told her I'd made arrangements with the local funeral parlour for both Willy and I and have recorded our wishes and selected the box for ashes and it's even priced already.
I have a plastic box marked Wills and funerals with anything pertaining to it in there. Which reminds me There is a list of whatever goes to whoever but that's all changed since I moved to this place. (must up-date it) I've been doing what I can for giving the children some item.
NO FIGHTS ALLOWED!
Neither Willy or I have valuable things, neither of us wanted more than we needed. We are good people.
But you never can tell with Willy - he has overcome massive humps before and he still may out-live me. he asked for his brother the other day but his brother and wife in Sweden are in a worse state than he is. Alzheimers.
I've sent his niece his father's ring and cufflinks. All else are articles I have bought him along the way.
It's fortunate that I've been able to look after his affairs and we have had each other for twenty-four years and I hope I'm telling the doctor the right thing to do.
signed hoping Willy doesn't have pain - Doris
Was kind and gentle in all he said which is this.
"From what I gather from the nurses at Pleasantview, Willy has had some incidents leading me to believe he is having episodes called "heart block."
When he was in Hospital he was examined by a cardiologist and it was determined that he has this problem as well as his Bronchitis.
Surgery could be done. Heart monitoring could be done which means Abbotsford Hospital or Pace-maker put in.
What do you think Willy would like to have done? Or would you say let nature take its course?"
I told the doctor that he has refused:-
dental help for rotten teeth.
medicine for Parkinson's. (which he has been given in spite of his refusal. He thinks it is a vitamin dose)
Cataract removal (which I thought was awful to refuse but was told it was HIS decision)
He is ninety-three years old and would probably refuse any operation in his original frame of mind.
It's almost like being asked if you should take someone off life-support!
It's not pleasant.
I asked the doctor is he still able to make the move to the new building. His answer was "Yes"
What did he think of the situation. I gathered it was the same as I thought - Let nature be his friend as it always was with him.
I understand now the extra concern for his care the care-aids gave him when I visited and the social worker trying to breach the subject by phone to me and Sharon coming in the room to talk. They want to know how I'm dealing with it but don't want to push me. I told her I'd made arrangements with the local funeral parlour for both Willy and I and have recorded our wishes and selected the box for ashes and it's even priced already.
I have a plastic box marked Wills and funerals with anything pertaining to it in there. Which reminds me There is a list of whatever goes to whoever but that's all changed since I moved to this place. (must up-date it) I've been doing what I can for giving the children some item.
NO FIGHTS ALLOWED!
Neither Willy or I have valuable things, neither of us wanted more than we needed. We are good people.
But you never can tell with Willy - he has overcome massive humps before and he still may out-live me. he asked for his brother the other day but his brother and wife in Sweden are in a worse state than he is. Alzheimers.
I've sent his niece his father's ring and cufflinks. All else are articles I have bought him along the way.
It's fortunate that I've been able to look after his affairs and we have had each other for twenty-four years and I hope I'm telling the doctor the right thing to do.
signed hoping Willy doesn't have pain - Doris
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
Feeling my age
I was so achey this morning that I thought 'I had a bug'. Maybe I walked about too long yesterday on the concrete floor of the Mall.
Nothing would stop me from doing 'the chore of the day' which was to take the income tax into the bank for 'inter-office' mail so it would go to Vancouver to the invisible entities there so they will tell Willy and I how much we owe the Government. Lucky I waited till today because I got a T3 in the mail and was able to throw it in with the rest. I don't know what a T3 is actually but trust they'll send it back if it's not needed. (This is how I manage finances!)
It used to be a time of great concentration for Willy and forms and statements were all over the place - not in a mess because he knew what he was doing but there were so many divergent stocks and funds.
I checked our accounts and all is in order.
It was like an oven in Willy's room, the curtains were closed and he was as warm as a baked potato. I put down the thermometer ( he always pronounced it thermo - meter.) and got him some water to drink.
The activity lady and her assistant came. Earlier they had to rescue Willy out of his small wheelchair because he fell asleep in it and was falling out. They are to hide the small one and insist that he make the change to the large one to allow him to sleep in it. The staff will wheel him in future and that's that.
The two poles which I had put in for him to hang on to were gone - put away somewhere but I said I'd paid for them and would take them home to Carrington (if they can find them.)
No one can understand what he's saying. I can pick up some words and he thought the truck was driving on the highway and no one was driving it. Then he wanted to make sure we had eggs. I used that to remind him how important it was that we had eggs for him to make hot-cakes after his early walks and there was a hint of a smile from him.
signed - not an accountant Doris
Nothing would stop me from doing 'the chore of the day' which was to take the income tax into the bank for 'inter-office' mail so it would go to Vancouver to the invisible entities there so they will tell Willy and I how much we owe the Government. Lucky I waited till today because I got a T3 in the mail and was able to throw it in with the rest. I don't know what a T3 is actually but trust they'll send it back if it's not needed. (This is how I manage finances!)
It used to be a time of great concentration for Willy and forms and statements were all over the place - not in a mess because he knew what he was doing but there were so many divergent stocks and funds.
I checked our accounts and all is in order.
It was like an oven in Willy's room, the curtains were closed and he was as warm as a baked potato. I put down the thermometer ( he always pronounced it thermo - meter.) and got him some water to drink.
The activity lady and her assistant came. Earlier they had to rescue Willy out of his small wheelchair because he fell asleep in it and was falling out. They are to hide the small one and insist that he make the change to the large one to allow him to sleep in it. The staff will wheel him in future and that's that.
The two poles which I had put in for him to hang on to were gone - put away somewhere but I said I'd paid for them and would take them home to Carrington (if they can find them.)
No one can understand what he's saying. I can pick up some words and he thought the truck was driving on the highway and no one was driving it. Then he wanted to make sure we had eggs. I used that to remind him how important it was that we had eggs for him to make hot-cakes after his early walks and there was a hint of a smile from him.
signed - not an accountant Doris
Monday, March 10, 2014
Shopping
I'd put my name down a long time ago to go on Carrington's bus to Seven oaks Mall in Abbotsford so I didn't let anything stop me from doing so and toddled along.
I've learned to take something to eat with me so I don't waste time at an eating place. When Laura said "Do you want two or two and a half hours?" I quickly said in a loud voice "The later one." because I haven't shopped for ages.
I hunted for a light under-shirt or whatever you call them which would have a high neck line. Everything made for the last few years have a low neck-line, so if I found one I wanted I could use it to cover my ancient chest line.
But no. I have to wait for fashions to change.
I did buy two sweaters, one powder blue and one Fushia that is similar to the lovely one I bought before Christmas in black. They button up to the neck and are light enough to wear under a jacket.
Reminds me of Willy telling me men know women who wear high-necked dresses don't want sex !!!!!!! What kind of crazy thinking is that?
Came across a resident in one of the shops who is ninety and had just bought a silver leather-type jacket. Good for her!
When I arrived home I tried things on and the sleeveless top marked large would have only fit a worm and the medium top was too large! You can't win. I was really tired so I lay on the sofa for a nap which lasted till dinner time. So it's cheerio for now signed shopped till I dropped Doris
I didn't try anything on because I knew I'd run out of energy if I did that but I walked up and down aisles for the two and a half hours
I've learned to take something to eat with me so I don't waste time at an eating place. When Laura said "Do you want two or two and a half hours?" I quickly said in a loud voice "The later one." because I haven't shopped for ages.
I hunted for a light under-shirt or whatever you call them which would have a high neck line. Everything made for the last few years have a low neck-line, so if I found one I wanted I could use it to cover my ancient chest line.
But no. I have to wait for fashions to change.
I did buy two sweaters, one powder blue and one Fushia that is similar to the lovely one I bought before Christmas in black. They button up to the neck and are light enough to wear under a jacket.
Reminds me of Willy telling me men know women who wear high-necked dresses don't want sex !!!!!!! What kind of crazy thinking is that?
Came across a resident in one of the shops who is ninety and had just bought a silver leather-type jacket. Good for her!
When I arrived home I tried things on and the sleeveless top marked large would have only fit a worm and the medium top was too large! You can't win. I was really tired so I lay on the sofa for a nap which lasted till dinner time. So it's cheerio for now signed shopped till I dropped Doris
I didn't try anything on because I knew I'd run out of energy if I did that but I walked up and down aisles for the two and a half hours
Sunday, March 9, 2014
Healing
Even though I'm high in Potassium as I've said before, I find my blood sugar is good when I have fresh fruit so today I got pears, mangoes, grapes and some avocados. Also got some California rice rolls for my dinner.
Also got birthday cards for March birthdays. Think there's only one month when the family is birthday-free.
Checked in to see Willy and I was so happy to see him sleeping, curled up on his side (as he used to sleep with me) and they had plumped the pillows so his head was resting in a better way and he looked comfortable.
His breathing was so much better - I don't think I could stand to hear that awful rattle in his chest for long. The antibiotics seem to be working although he isn't eating yet.
Not wanting to wake him because sleep is healing, I took some plastic bags and filled them with the contents of his drawer. Got to tidy up for the move. So many get-well, Christmas and birthday cards - he does love getting them - I should say did because I don't think they register any more. Some old photos, one sock, old stock statements and calendars, old Kleenexes. I'll go through everything soon.
I thought of the lady who has a husband here with Parkinson's. The doctor called her in about two weeks ago because her husband didn't have long to live. I happened to pass their room and he was trying to lash out at her with frustration but now he's back to normal. It can be an emotional merry-go-round for family,
Talked to a husband who comes every day for his wife - they're both early seventies. Too young.
Leaving Willy's room I come across the lady I told you has just been transferred to Pleasantview from Carrington. She was agitated and shaking but recognised me. "I've got an orange cat and I brought him here but I don't know where he is now. I think my son has forgotten where I am and I'm ready to go home. If you see him will you tell him I have need of him please."
I find a care-aid to calm her down and I'm sorry - she's such a sweet lady but it's right that she's here because she will have more care.
I thank our guardian angels that we live in Mission and Willy is well cared for.
signed grateful Doris
Also got birthday cards for March birthdays. Think there's only one month when the family is birthday-free.
Checked in to see Willy and I was so happy to see him sleeping, curled up on his side (as he used to sleep with me) and they had plumped the pillows so his head was resting in a better way and he looked comfortable.
His breathing was so much better - I don't think I could stand to hear that awful rattle in his chest for long. The antibiotics seem to be working although he isn't eating yet.
Not wanting to wake him because sleep is healing, I took some plastic bags and filled them with the contents of his drawer. Got to tidy up for the move. So many get-well, Christmas and birthday cards - he does love getting them - I should say did because I don't think they register any more. Some old photos, one sock, old stock statements and calendars, old Kleenexes. I'll go through everything soon.
I thought of the lady who has a husband here with Parkinson's. The doctor called her in about two weeks ago because her husband didn't have long to live. I happened to pass their room and he was trying to lash out at her with frustration but now he's back to normal. It can be an emotional merry-go-round for family,
Talked to a husband who comes every day for his wife - they're both early seventies. Too young.
Leaving Willy's room I come across the lady I told you has just been transferred to Pleasantview from Carrington. She was agitated and shaking but recognised me. "I've got an orange cat and I brought him here but I don't know where he is now. I think my son has forgotten where I am and I'm ready to go home. If you see him will you tell him I have need of him please."
I find a care-aid to calm her down and I'm sorry - she's such a sweet lady but it's right that she's here because she will have more care.
I thank our guardian angels that we live in Mission and Willy is well cared for.
signed grateful Doris
Saturday, March 8, 2014
Facing it
Nine in the morning I get a phone call from Pleasantview. Something happened to Willy (lost consciousness) and the nurse is concerned enough to send him to the hospital. He may have pneumonia. They will let me know if they will keep him or not. He will be assessed because his chest is congested.
They tell me he refuses food. They've offered him liquid food in a bottle (Ensure) but he won't take it.
He is returned to Pleasantview and I go to see him. He has Bronchitis and they've given him anti-biotics. As I go into his room he looks like all the people I've seen in documentaries of someone minutes from death. Mouth open, drooping to the left and stuff dripping out. Eyes closed.
Horrible rattle comes from his chest. I don't want to hear it. I sponge his face and hands.
I talk and put my hand on his shoulder. His eyes open to recognise me but I can't make out what he's whispering. After a while I can hear the word "water" and the care-aid brings some with a crooked straw so he doesn't have to sit up to drink from it. We are so relieved he can drink.
If only he didn't have that awful rattle in his chest... I hear him say "lunch-time". I tell the care-aids I think he might eat something that he recognises as more solid food and I leave.
I drive around to Brenda's house but the car isn't there so I carry on home, feeling sad but glad they are caring for him well. No wonder he was acting strange the other day, he had been feeling ill.
I washed my hair and read my beloved Saturday Globe and Mail and now I hope tomorrow will be an easier day. signed Tomorrow - tomorrow - Doris
They tell me he refuses food. They've offered him liquid food in a bottle (Ensure) but he won't take it.
He is returned to Pleasantview and I go to see him. He has Bronchitis and they've given him anti-biotics. As I go into his room he looks like all the people I've seen in documentaries of someone minutes from death. Mouth open, drooping to the left and stuff dripping out. Eyes closed.
Horrible rattle comes from his chest. I don't want to hear it. I sponge his face and hands.
I talk and put my hand on his shoulder. His eyes open to recognise me but I can't make out what he's whispering. After a while I can hear the word "water" and the care-aid brings some with a crooked straw so he doesn't have to sit up to drink from it. We are so relieved he can drink.
If only he didn't have that awful rattle in his chest... I hear him say "lunch-time". I tell the care-aids I think he might eat something that he recognises as more solid food and I leave.
I drive around to Brenda's house but the car isn't there so I carry on home, feeling sad but glad they are caring for him well. No wonder he was acting strange the other day, he had been feeling ill.
I washed my hair and read my beloved Saturday Globe and Mail and now I hope tomorrow will be an easier day. signed Tomorrow - tomorrow - Doris
Friday, March 7, 2014
Flowers
Well I received the flowers from the Florist. Lovely deep red roses and deep magenta Lupin-like blossoms in an unusual pink vase. It was from someone I admire who wished to thank me but I haven't done anything to warrant it.
But it was nice because it was so unexpected and the days have been grimey and I'm waiting for cherry blossoms and Forsythia outside which looked encouraging until they gave in to the cold.
I've stayed in to get a project done and have accomplished same. I've tidied up and rid my desk of the throes of letters and papers which keep coming at me because of income tax and Willy's move and finances and health things. And I shortened two 'tops' which I haven't worn as they were too long for me.
I'm loving the book on Charles Dickens' life except after an hour or so reading everything he does every day, I feel as if I've been whizzing around on one of the twirly rides at Disneyland. He was a strange man sometimes, always wanted young women around him, even setting up a home for young prostitutes so he could turn their lives around. Of course he had a wealthy patron to do those sort of things. I'm not suggesting he made use of the prostitutes, other than using them as characters in his stories, but then he had his sister-in-law as a "pet" he called her. When she died he suffered tremendous grief. Then the other sister in law when he had set his wife up elsewhere, came to look after him.
But Boy! he can write.
On the phone a lot today - must go out to check on the bank tomorrow. There are twenty men from high banks and Bitcoin who have recently committed suicide so got to look after my account!!!!!
signed At least I didn't go into Bitcoin - Doris
But it was nice because it was so unexpected and the days have been grimey and I'm waiting for cherry blossoms and Forsythia outside which looked encouraging until they gave in to the cold.
I've stayed in to get a project done and have accomplished same. I've tidied up and rid my desk of the throes of letters and papers which keep coming at me because of income tax and Willy's move and finances and health things. And I shortened two 'tops' which I haven't worn as they were too long for me.
I'm loving the book on Charles Dickens' life except after an hour or so reading everything he does every day, I feel as if I've been whizzing around on one of the twirly rides at Disneyland. He was a strange man sometimes, always wanted young women around him, even setting up a home for young prostitutes so he could turn their lives around. Of course he had a wealthy patron to do those sort of things. I'm not suggesting he made use of the prostitutes, other than using them as characters in his stories, but then he had his sister-in-law as a "pet" he called her. When she died he suffered tremendous grief. Then the other sister in law when he had set his wife up elsewhere, came to look after him.
But Boy! he can write.
On the phone a lot today - must go out to check on the bank tomorrow. There are twenty men from high banks and Bitcoin who have recently committed suicide so got to look after my account!!!!!
signed At least I didn't go into Bitcoin - Doris
Thursday, March 6, 2014
Renoir
For Saturday night movie here, they had a film called Renoir and I had to miss it. I asked Steve (staff) if he would put it on for me at a time when I was around and this afternoon he did and I went in to the small theatre here and watched it.
If I had been the director I would have called "CUT" many times because it was draggy to the extreme. Yet it had pleasant scenes and must have made the men happy with full frontal nudes aplenty!
Renoir as an older man was a well cast and was a good actor, even quoted his favourite quotes but it was concentrating on his arthritis and impending death and the war. I wanted to see his young self in happier times. I would say the main theme was how to make as many scenes as you could where you show bare breasts. I couldn't make out if the number of women he had looking after him were worn-out models or not. They were forever carrying him up through the garden in a make-shift contraption to his studio and then back down the garden to his house!
His son came through very attractive and of course he's the one who made some fine art films later.
The florist phoned to say they are to deliver flowers. I'm very curious who is sending them when there is no special occasion.
Willy had been taken by a visitor to a "Bible Study" session in Pleasantview. I informed the desk that I do not wish for him to be taken to such a thing and then went in to see what was going on and told the visitor the same.
I have learned to take notice of the agitation which wriggles inside of me sometimes telling me something is not right and act on it. Willy never wanted anything to do with Religious groups and I feel it's taking advantage of his mental stage to take him when he can't state what he doesn't want.
I trimmed his hair as I have done for twenty-four years.
signed trimming Doris
If I had been the director I would have called "CUT" many times because it was draggy to the extreme. Yet it had pleasant scenes and must have made the men happy with full frontal nudes aplenty!
Renoir as an older man was a well cast and was a good actor, even quoted his favourite quotes but it was concentrating on his arthritis and impending death and the war. I wanted to see his young self in happier times. I would say the main theme was how to make as many scenes as you could where you show bare breasts. I couldn't make out if the number of women he had looking after him were worn-out models or not. They were forever carrying him up through the garden in a make-shift contraption to his studio and then back down the garden to his house!
His son came through very attractive and of course he's the one who made some fine art films later.
The florist phoned to say they are to deliver flowers. I'm very curious who is sending them when there is no special occasion.
Willy had been taken by a visitor to a "Bible Study" session in Pleasantview. I informed the desk that I do not wish for him to be taken to such a thing and then went in to see what was going on and told the visitor the same.
I have learned to take notice of the agitation which wriggles inside of me sometimes telling me something is not right and act on it. Willy never wanted anything to do with Religious groups and I feel it's taking advantage of his mental stage to take him when he can't state what he doesn't want.
I trimmed his hair as I have done for twenty-four years.
signed trimming Doris
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
Netflix
Once again my stress level rises as I try to get Netflix with my crazy system.
I've decided to scrap it and get the other channels instead. I like switches saying "on" or "off" not this horsing around with another lap-top and half doing the actions on the chesterfield and the rest getting up and down to turn knobs on the lap-top. Finish. Finish.
I found it hard to get my talk to behave. I made myself stay in and get it done. But once I deleted most of the other subjects popping up and getting in the way, my Muse took over and I (or my Muse) sailed away and I have a twenty minute talk.
Actually what happened was I took bits that I have in my books but they were not together. So I wove them into one theme and included many more details relating to it and it's fine.
I'm reading Charles Dickins, his life. He thought "marriage was the solution to sexual hygiene, domestic comfort and for companionship." which I guess is as good as any description. He really was a good writer and gets you right into the room with his characters. He was so restless though, moving to different houses and places on a whim continually. I am enjoying the book. I've seen films on his life but so many people are involved in his story that I find I like to read about it so I can work everyone out.
The book mentions Chatham, Leamington and Rochester which are places where our family lived.
signed Not Netflix Doris
I've decided to scrap it and get the other channels instead. I like switches saying "on" or "off" not this horsing around with another lap-top and half doing the actions on the chesterfield and the rest getting up and down to turn knobs on the lap-top. Finish. Finish.
I found it hard to get my talk to behave. I made myself stay in and get it done. But once I deleted most of the other subjects popping up and getting in the way, my Muse took over and I (or my Muse) sailed away and I have a twenty minute talk.
Actually what happened was I took bits that I have in my books but they were not together. So I wove them into one theme and included many more details relating to it and it's fine.
I'm reading Charles Dickins, his life. He thought "marriage was the solution to sexual hygiene, domestic comfort and for companionship." which I guess is as good as any description. He really was a good writer and gets you right into the room with his characters. He was so restless though, moving to different houses and places on a whim continually. I am enjoying the book. I've seen films on his life but so many people are involved in his story that I find I like to read about it so I can work everyone out.
The book mentions Chatham, Leamington and Rochester which are places where our family lived.
signed Not Netflix Doris
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
Voice Therapist
Today I went to see Willy and the activity lady was with him.
They want him to use the large wheelchair and for the previous two days they more or less insisted on it so he could sleep in a more comfortable way during his naps in daytime. But he cannot and will not move the thing with his feet.
I bought him, when he was living at home, one of those large chairs that will lift a person up at the touch of a button because he was always falling when trying to get up.
I told them he never even tried it out. Told me he hated it. Told me I wasted money and for the rest of his life he would not sit in it. And he never LOOKED at it never mind sat in it. So this is the same thing.
"Am I sitting in the small one?" he asked
"Yes"
" I don't want the big one. Am I sitting in the small one?" and so on.
I wheeled him into the exercise room and there was the Voice Therapist and she has a group which will be in a concert choir. I joined in. I used to love to sing but only for myself, then my voice decided it was too tired and I had to forget singing. But by the time we got to song # 6 I was doing all right.
This is a treasure person and I've watched her before, think I've told you about her. This time she's actually getting even befuddled people to sing the words of the songs. It was lovely.
It was pouring rain and sleet when I drove but I do like to be able to drive and get all the little things that make up life without bothering anyone else.
Today May is going to see a specialist about the pain in her knee. It will be interesting to know the results because she says it is not where the fracture is.
I missed talking to my sons the other night when they phoned - they said they were thinking of me. They are always busy-busy-busy. They have started another venture and I think it will work.
signed - Mother of lots of busy-bees - Doris
They want him to use the large wheelchair and for the previous two days they more or less insisted on it so he could sleep in a more comfortable way during his naps in daytime. But he cannot and will not move the thing with his feet.
I bought him, when he was living at home, one of those large chairs that will lift a person up at the touch of a button because he was always falling when trying to get up.
I told them he never even tried it out. Told me he hated it. Told me I wasted money and for the rest of his life he would not sit in it. And he never LOOKED at it never mind sat in it. So this is the same thing.
"Am I sitting in the small one?" he asked
"Yes"
" I don't want the big one. Am I sitting in the small one?" and so on.
I wheeled him into the exercise room and there was the Voice Therapist and she has a group which will be in a concert choir. I joined in. I used to love to sing but only for myself, then my voice decided it was too tired and I had to forget singing. But by the time we got to song # 6 I was doing all right.
This is a treasure person and I've watched her before, think I've told you about her. This time she's actually getting even befuddled people to sing the words of the songs. It was lovely.
It was pouring rain and sleet when I drove but I do like to be able to drive and get all the little things that make up life without bothering anyone else.
Today May is going to see a specialist about the pain in her knee. It will be interesting to know the results because she says it is not where the fracture is.
I missed talking to my sons the other night when they phoned - they said they were thinking of me. They are always busy-busy-busy. They have started another venture and I think it will work.
signed - Mother of lots of busy-bees - Doris
Monday, March 3, 2014
The divorce angel
Joy came this afternoon, looking very nice with her new diet intact. I just can't get over how wise she is now.
I had told Brenda I wasn't happy with the writing I did for my talk. She suggested I read it to Joy and see what she had to say about it. Joy told me the first part wasn't true to what I am but the next part was and what I should aim for. It became clear to me it was exactly the right thing to do.
Later she told Brenda she was nervous to say anything to me, her mother, about it and I said I didn't understand why she should be. "Well, you've never asked my advise before" she said. I guess that's true. She's one of my youngest children.
We went over to Brenda's place and while I got caught up with Jay, the girls talked mainly about health and hospital stuff. They're both nurses.
Joy noticed that my glasses were askew and said I should get them straightened and what happened that they became twisted.
What happened was that I was being hugged very hard by one of my children and I could feel the glasses getting twisted because my head was burrowed into his chest but there was no way I was going to interrupt a loving hug to say "something's wrong with my glasses" so I let it go.
I should frame them as they are physical proof that love is good even if it gets twisted.
So the title of this is "The divorce angel" and this is her story.
My former husband and I were separated for quite a while when he phoned to make a date for a dinner out.
First we chit-chatted and then he said "I think it's time we divorced."
The waiter appeared with a cheery smile and hovering over the table said "And how did you like your dinner?" He shocked both of us because our world was reduced to the pain of what we were going through. We managed to say the dinner was fine and I used the serviette to dab at my mouth to bring me back to earth.
Of course we'd known it would be this way but when it actually came, it was a jolt.
We had coffee, he paid the bill and we started to walk through the small gift shop adjoining the restaurant. Looking up I saw a china mobile hanging from the ceiling and clinking away. Small white angels turning at different levels and looking so pure, I hesitated.
Ted bought it for me.
Over the years it has moved with me, one angel after the other breaking during the moves until there is only one left. I always just stuffed it in a drawer and forgot about it but it popped up quite often. This time, I was clearing out a drawer and there it was again letting me never to forget the dinner when we knew our thirty-two years together were over.
signed divorced Doris
I had told Brenda I wasn't happy with the writing I did for my talk. She suggested I read it to Joy and see what she had to say about it. Joy told me the first part wasn't true to what I am but the next part was and what I should aim for. It became clear to me it was exactly the right thing to do.
Later she told Brenda she was nervous to say anything to me, her mother, about it and I said I didn't understand why she should be. "Well, you've never asked my advise before" she said. I guess that's true. She's one of my youngest children.
We went over to Brenda's place and while I got caught up with Jay, the girls talked mainly about health and hospital stuff. They're both nurses.
Joy noticed that my glasses were askew and said I should get them straightened and what happened that they became twisted.
What happened was that I was being hugged very hard by one of my children and I could feel the glasses getting twisted because my head was burrowed into his chest but there was no way I was going to interrupt a loving hug to say "something's wrong with my glasses" so I let it go.
I should frame them as they are physical proof that love is good even if it gets twisted.
So the title of this is "The divorce angel" and this is her story.
My former husband and I were separated for quite a while when he phoned to make a date for a dinner out.
First we chit-chatted and then he said "I think it's time we divorced."
The waiter appeared with a cheery smile and hovering over the table said "And how did you like your dinner?" He shocked both of us because our world was reduced to the pain of what we were going through. We managed to say the dinner was fine and I used the serviette to dab at my mouth to bring me back to earth.
Of course we'd known it would be this way but when it actually came, it was a jolt.
We had coffee, he paid the bill and we started to walk through the small gift shop adjoining the restaurant. Looking up I saw a china mobile hanging from the ceiling and clinking away. Small white angels turning at different levels and looking so pure, I hesitated.
Ted bought it for me.
Over the years it has moved with me, one angel after the other breaking during the moves until there is only one left. I always just stuffed it in a drawer and forgot about it but it popped up quite often. This time, I was clearing out a drawer and there it was again letting me never to forget the dinner when we knew our thirty-two years together were over.
signed divorced Doris
Sunday, March 2, 2014
I do watch the Oscars
Yes I watch the Oscars. I can just visualize how Willy used to sit in his big chair and sigh these big sighs because he thought it was all trash. But the stage is always with me and the dresses interest me and some things move me when a recipient talks about someone having believed in them and the story of the film.
I loved being on the stage and everything connected with it. I was the lead in plays at school at the age of six till I left at fifteen. The Sisters at the convent told me not to worry about exams because they demanded a lot from me when they put on their theatre plays. Then when I worked in England my boss said never mind doing the typing - just make us proud with your acting!
Everything like that stopped when I was married and I can see why because I would have got into trouble, that`s for sure if I became popular as an actor. I wouldn`t want to do much housework and I`d have trouble with the men because I was pretty.
Well, I wasn`t pretty after I lost the baby in Canada. The doctor told me not to scrub floors or do too much exercise otherwise I`d have another miscarriage so I did the thing a house-wife could do for creating (other than having more babies) and that was to learn to make the best cakes in the world and of course who would eat them but me. I didn`t care then what I looked like.
There was a time in Sudbury when I managed to audition for a local play and was given a good part.
It was a horrible time for my husband as he knew he was going to lose the business but he let me go to practises. Two weeks before we were to put the play on, he said he couldn`t stand me being involved and I had to pull out. So it was never meant to be that I acted in plays again.
Getting back to the Oscars. I thought this was the best yet. I enjoyed the entertainment part and this woman `Ping`- where did she come from because I thought she was divine, her voice so rich singing `Somewhere over the Rainbow``. I had tears - not only because of her singing but they portrayed some of the film in the background and of course on the second day of marrying my first husband, we went to see that film. (1945)
Also my friend's mentally ill son had killed himself. He asked that we would sing `Somewhere over the Rainbow`` at his funeral and boy! We cried our hearts sore when we sang let me tell you.
I thought Ellen was a good host. The speeches were more detailed stories than before. There were more black people around (yes I know about the slave movie but there were black introducers etc.)
I thought it was a more tasteful production than usual.
I liked the red Peplum dress. Does anyone know what a Peplum is anymore.
Cute about Judi Dench not being there because she`s doing a sequel in India!!
signed non-acting Doris
I loved being on the stage and everything connected with it. I was the lead in plays at school at the age of six till I left at fifteen. The Sisters at the convent told me not to worry about exams because they demanded a lot from me when they put on their theatre plays. Then when I worked in England my boss said never mind doing the typing - just make us proud with your acting!
Everything like that stopped when I was married and I can see why because I would have got into trouble, that`s for sure if I became popular as an actor. I wouldn`t want to do much housework and I`d have trouble with the men because I was pretty.
Well, I wasn`t pretty after I lost the baby in Canada. The doctor told me not to scrub floors or do too much exercise otherwise I`d have another miscarriage so I did the thing a house-wife could do for creating (other than having more babies) and that was to learn to make the best cakes in the world and of course who would eat them but me. I didn`t care then what I looked like.
There was a time in Sudbury when I managed to audition for a local play and was given a good part.
It was a horrible time for my husband as he knew he was going to lose the business but he let me go to practises. Two weeks before we were to put the play on, he said he couldn`t stand me being involved and I had to pull out. So it was never meant to be that I acted in plays again.
Getting back to the Oscars. I thought this was the best yet. I enjoyed the entertainment part and this woman `Ping`- where did she come from because I thought she was divine, her voice so rich singing `Somewhere over the Rainbow``. I had tears - not only because of her singing but they portrayed some of the film in the background and of course on the second day of marrying my first husband, we went to see that film. (1945)
Also my friend's mentally ill son had killed himself. He asked that we would sing `Somewhere over the Rainbow`` at his funeral and boy! We cried our hearts sore when we sang let me tell you.
I thought Ellen was a good host. The speeches were more detailed stories than before. There were more black people around (yes I know about the slave movie but there were black introducers etc.)
I thought it was a more tasteful production than usual.
I liked the red Peplum dress. Does anyone know what a Peplum is anymore.
Cute about Judi Dench not being there because she`s doing a sequel in India!!
signed non-acting Doris
Saturday, March 1, 2014
Philomeana
I had a phone call from dear friends - "Would you like to go to Pitt Meadows with us and have dinner afterwards." They had seen the movie once before and thought it was one I'd like.
It's true you know - there are people like this who will pick up their friend and drive over 30 kilometers to see a film a second time because they think it will please their friend.
I said yes because I try to be like the lady who led a wonderful life and when asked what she thought made her life so great, replied "I always said YES".
But the snow came across with the wind like a Winnipeg snow as I sat waiting to hear the phone ring to say they wouldn't risk going in that weather. But it didn't ring so I went to the lobby to wait for them to come and they did.
And the film is "Philomena" with Judi Dench.
Terrific acting.
It's about a single girl who had her baby in a nun's building. The baby was looked after by the nuns till he was adopted out. Many of the babies were bought by Americans as happened to this girl's son.
As the girl was a Catholic she lived with tremendous guilt and a yearning to know at least if the boy had been happy and the movie is about trying to trace him.
The nuns were shown to be callous about the girls they took in and they showed disgust with their pregnancies.
And I remembered when I had my first baby in the Catholic hospital in Cornwall Ontario. I went into labour when I was five and a half months pregnant. When I was in so much pain the sister said to me, "You had your fun and now you have to pay for it." So I know cruelty can happen.
I didn't know the baby had lived for two hours and that they had baptised her.
As Ted and I waited to leave the hospital a nun came towards us holding a shoe box and said "This is your baby, you'll have to bury her."
Tonight my friend talked about the Butter-box babies and how on the east coast there were cases of babies being born to un-wed mothers and a lot of them died and as butter-boxes were cheap they were buried in those boxes. And my friend knows of a person who lived in that place.
Anyway, we drove home without having to get stranded on the road with snow like most of Canada is going through at the moment and we had dinner at good old ABC restaurant, discussed the film and here I am telling you about it but doing a lot of thinking as well. signed thinking Doris
It's true you know - there are people like this who will pick up their friend and drive over 30 kilometers to see a film a second time because they think it will please their friend.
I said yes because I try to be like the lady who led a wonderful life and when asked what she thought made her life so great, replied "I always said YES".
But the snow came across with the wind like a Winnipeg snow as I sat waiting to hear the phone ring to say they wouldn't risk going in that weather. But it didn't ring so I went to the lobby to wait for them to come and they did.
And the film is "Philomena" with Judi Dench.
Terrific acting.
It's about a single girl who had her baby in a nun's building. The baby was looked after by the nuns till he was adopted out. Many of the babies were bought by Americans as happened to this girl's son.
As the girl was a Catholic she lived with tremendous guilt and a yearning to know at least if the boy had been happy and the movie is about trying to trace him.
The nuns were shown to be callous about the girls they took in and they showed disgust with their pregnancies.
And I remembered when I had my first baby in the Catholic hospital in Cornwall Ontario. I went into labour when I was five and a half months pregnant. When I was in so much pain the sister said to me, "You had your fun and now you have to pay for it." So I know cruelty can happen.
I didn't know the baby had lived for two hours and that they had baptised her.
As Ted and I waited to leave the hospital a nun came towards us holding a shoe box and said "This is your baby, you'll have to bury her."
Tonight my friend talked about the Butter-box babies and how on the east coast there were cases of babies being born to un-wed mothers and a lot of them died and as butter-boxes were cheap they were buried in those boxes. And my friend knows of a person who lived in that place.
Anyway, we drove home without having to get stranded on the road with snow like most of Canada is going through at the moment and we had dinner at good old ABC restaurant, discussed the film and here I am telling you about it but doing a lot of thinking as well. signed thinking Doris
Party
I fretted about driving to the 50th birthday party of my friend because the TV said there was more snow coming again. And I thought of my children telling me "for Pete's sake - you can afford a taxi, why aren't you getting one to shop etc." So I did that.
It was such a jolly time and a surprise for the birthday boy to have some of his family from overseas appearing and his mother too. Hello Mea! I'm glad to hear you're tuning in to my Blog.
Another friend does so as well so this is splendid.
How important it is to have rituals to celebrate some occasions in life.
I'm really no good at "smoozing" with a lot of people whereas my former husband was the King of that sort of thing. When he died they said of him "He loved to party". whereas I shrink from it. However this party was just the right size so I enjoyed talking. And I was driven home.
While I was talking, someone said they'd escaped from Poland to Greece in the wild way we hear about in stories, eventually being sent to Fort McMurray, Canada for two years without having much English language. We got thinking that these stories should be put into writing.
It's like my father being in the army of occupation in Germany. He talked of going to the Ukraine, Silesia and other places but it was never written down so we don't know what he was doing there.
Makes me wonder if we'll ever hear something of my mother's brother or any relations in Germany - funny that my brother in Australia John, now has a German partner. "As the world turns."
nearly 90 and partying still - Doris
It was such a jolly time and a surprise for the birthday boy to have some of his family from overseas appearing and his mother too. Hello Mea! I'm glad to hear you're tuning in to my Blog.
Another friend does so as well so this is splendid.
How important it is to have rituals to celebrate some occasions in life.
I'm really no good at "smoozing" with a lot of people whereas my former husband was the King of that sort of thing. When he died they said of him "He loved to party". whereas I shrink from it. However this party was just the right size so I enjoyed talking. And I was driven home.
While I was talking, someone said they'd escaped from Poland to Greece in the wild way we hear about in stories, eventually being sent to Fort McMurray, Canada for two years without having much English language. We got thinking that these stories should be put into writing.
It's like my father being in the army of occupation in Germany. He talked of going to the Ukraine, Silesia and other places but it was never written down so we don't know what he was doing there.
Makes me wonder if we'll ever hear something of my mother's brother or any relations in Germany - funny that my brother in Australia John, now has a German partner. "As the world turns."
nearly 90 and partying still - Doris
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